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I feel like I am finally on the beginnings of coming around. I realized recently that I've been unwittingly getting more gluten in my diet, and aside from that, I'm trying to get more nutrition. Have been buying protein and antioxidant drinks from Odwalla and Naked, in addition to picking up cheeses and salads and things.. I may not be handling my food budget very well right now, but at least I'm working on getting some proper nutrition, nya?

I've been getting these silly ideas lately.. like the curious, creative, etc. part of my mind is starting to become active again, mya. Which I like. It feels as though I am beginning to become me again, slowly. Am beginning to remember facets of my being, and break away from all the crud that's built up over the past some months. (Heck, it's been over a year now since I was diagnosed with Lyme. Things've been cruddy since before then.. it's been a downward spiral for most of that time, with occasional uplifting points in between).

There's a part of me recently that's been interesting in academic pursuits.. of a pretty strange kind. There's someone inside off me that really wants to dig deep into mythology and ancient texts to start figuring things out and piecing them together and create something cohesive and meaningful out of it. To really analyze and figure out what was going on in the minds of the people who wrote it. The biblical texts really are of a huge interest to me, maybe because I was raised around them, or because they're just kinda interesting to a lot of people, I don't know. But there's this part of me that wants to delve as deeply as I can into the original versions of the stories--or as close as I can get--and work on translating them to the best of my personal abilities, rather than relying on a lot of other peoples' interpretations of things.

Of course, this'd take a lot of years' work, and a whole lot of books and time and money. And I don't really know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment, but there is this looming part of me that's really curious to see what I could come up with. The stories just sort of fascinate me, and I can't help but wonder, what is there to be found in it all? How much of it is metaphor, and how much of it did people really believe in, and why? Where did these visions come from, and what did the mean? Can we actually create any relative sort of cohesive structure out of it, without the modern trappings of human thought, but figuring out as best as possible what was meant back in the times? What were the connotations of the words being used, not just the definitions?

Oh well.. am just babbling a lot. But I haven't done that in a long time, so mya.  (^*^);


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 15th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC)
Sounds good. It's nice to have some happy babbling coming from your direction. :-)
Jan. 15th, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks. (^*^)
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 15th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
You too! And thanks.. am actually having kind of "a day" today.. head's not feeling so great. Might just be more malnutrition issues, not sure. Am thinking of saying screw budgets and just eating and drinking as much as it seems like I ought to. I think I'm making enough money now to do that, and it'd probably be better for me health.

And am always up for discussions.. (well, okay, sometimes am out of it, but never not interested in discussions.. ee). You can always email me, or IM me if am on, etc. (Am not on right now 'cause computered needed a rest--on Helen's machine. Might go boot up again).
Jan. 15th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
Glad you're waking up. :-)

Going through a very different process of waking-up myself, so--won't say I know what you're going through (I don't) but I can relate.

Waking up can feel sucky but is good.
This sounds like it doesn't feel sucky and is good, which is the best kind of waking up.
Speaking of babbling....I should probably stop now. (grin)

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Gorotsuki Tenshi

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