Gorotsuki Tenshi (aekiy) wrote,
Gorotsuki Tenshi

A little stuck..

I keep trying to work my way through things and figure things out.. I have a lot of problems, though. My head is so cluttered and I haven't really managed to work through the mess. I keep trying but I'm so caught up in running into wild tangents and getting myself utterly distracted. This has been sparked, I'm pretty sure, largely by physical illness and, namely, the dietary issues I've been trying do deal with over the past couple of years.. fueled by a lot of other things.

There are days where I would describe myself as having a kind of memetic disorder. My brain has been trapped in a cycle of many similar concepts and principles and cycles and reapplying ideas to a wide variety of topics and.. I realize that this distances me to varying degrees from the living breathing reality and brings me into a center of my brain that is purely a theoretical construct and thought exercise and not actually the real world, no matter how much it could be potentially applied toward the real thing. At the same time, the very fact that I could use such a term I think is part of the problem itself to a degree.

I do need to work on a lot of the things in my head.. un-kink sticking points, find all the flaws and frustrations and blockages.. clear things up, try and make myself run more smoothly.. yet also I must work on taking care of myself in general. Showering daily, brushing my teeth 2-3 times a day, eating properly (the most difficult of tasks for me, it seems like).. sleeping. I need a more regular sleep schedule and to set myself to doing tasks and chores that need to be done. I think if I work on doing these things, I can start feeling better about myself in small ways, feel healthier and get myself into a place where I'll be better able to work through my problems.. but I also need, in the meantime, to keep in contact with my close friends and ask their help in keeping me focused on being able to handle even the basic necessities of life..

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