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I'm trying to be more sociable lately..

It's a work in progress. I'm normally a very open, healthy social type. A lot of things have really gotten to me over the past few years, including things that wouldn't normally -- and shouldn't really -- but that because of a complex of personal issues, have anyway. I think it's mostly stress-related, and a lot of my stress definitely comes from physical health issues. Those will pretty much continue, probably, but over time I get better at figuring out my biological problems and which things effect me in what ways, so I'm gradually getting better with that.. just in the meantime, if something goes wrong (namely with my diet), it can screw me up for weeks.

Now that I've been working to reduce stressors and increase my personal health, I'm also working on trying to work things out of my psychological system, and also try and better sort through which problems are more biological and which ones are more psychological. A lot of that's become really fuzzy over the past few years, and it's continuing progress, but I am working on it.. a recent, unfortunate personal situation (on the lines of being not-too-bright-but-heart-more-or-less-in-the-right-place) has effected this progress, but is helping to give me some much needed perspective now that it's ended. I think I'm working on some of the final chapters of the second book in my life and I'm not sure how long the epilogue will be. I believe there will be a third, though.. and I'm curious as to what it will bring.

I'm working on finding a new place to live (in the same general area, at least) to help move my life forward and improve a number of situations. I'll be working on getting new employment and making substantially more money than I am. Since I have very special dietary needs, it's difficult to reliably reduce my food budget, and I'm barely making enough to survive in this area as it is. (I'm hoping that I'll get a substantial tax return to save my poor bank account.) I've been reducing my schooling and may withdraw from the final credited class I've been taking. I've just been too exhausted, especially after last semester, and I'm realizing just how important it is for me to give myself the time to get a decent amount of sleep -- which for me takes more than it does for the average person, mostly because of troubles with insomnia, but also nutritional problems. It's also very important that I set aside a decent amount of time for myself to relax.. and at some point I really want to be rested, relaxed and decompressed enough to set aside time to start reading some of the large pile of books I have to go through, and start some of my own creative projects again.

Anyways.. I want to talk to people more, see people more, post to LiveJournal more. Get thoughts cycled out of my head more. Do more output. Might start posting to an alternate journal or two for the sake of some brain dumps. Something.. just making the attempt to shake loose things from my head, not be so self-contained, self-restraining, self-imposing.. stop putting too much pressure on myself, etc. I didn't used to take everything so seriously and act so cruelly to myself, and I think I've become a worse person for it. Need to help fix things.. shake myself, loosen up, remember who I am.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 8th, 2007 01:50 am (UTC)
ya.. we've both been through a lot of similar things on a number of different fronts. Perhaps you're less naive than I am on some things, though at the same time it could be said that I'm less cynical. We should try to just make these things act as a proper counterbalance to each other, maybe? Something like that..
Apr. 8th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
Thumbs up on all accounts.

As an aside, the color scheme you've been using for this LJ makes it really hard to read text I'm tying in the comment field...
Apr. 8th, 2007 02:22 am (UTC)
Sorry! I know.. something I've been meaning to get around to for a long time. I'm not very good at adjusting LiveJournal themes.
Apr. 8th, 2007 11:59 am (UTC)
Good luck on that appointment at 2:00 today.
Apr. 8th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
Danko. Am very hopeful and excited on this one. It's someone I semi-know, in what I'm told is a very nice place. It would cut my gas intake down significantly (about half or more).

Only thing is I won't be able to save any money for a while until I start making more of it, but at least I already have some saved up.. here's hoping.
Apr. 8th, 2007 01:19 pm (UTC)
I totally feel for you. I think this year may be a year of people getting themselves together and in a more healthy space. It seems like a lot of us are doing that on both a mental and a physical level.
Apr. 8th, 2007 05:38 pm (UTC)
Ya.. I think so too. (^*^) Here's hoping Wednesday Aikido works out.. though I still haven't gotten my registration email.
Apr. 8th, 2007 02:51 pm (UTC)
sorry!! still need to play with your resume - from what i've seen thus far is good resume :-)

will be in touch soon
Apr. 8th, 2007 05:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks. (^*^) I got a couple other people looking at it too -- have to poke and prod them, ee.
Apr. 8th, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)

Good luck with everything.
Apr. 8th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
::huggle:: Danko. Et tu, aussi.. (^*^);
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


Gorotsuki Tenshi

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