Gorotsuki Tenshi (aekiy) wrote,
Gorotsuki Tenshi
aekiy

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I'm trying to be more sociable lately..

It's a work in progress. I'm normally a very open, healthy social type. A lot of things have really gotten to me over the past few years, including things that wouldn't normally -- and shouldn't really -- but that because of a complex of personal issues, have anyway. I think it's mostly stress-related, and a lot of my stress definitely comes from physical health issues. Those will pretty much continue, probably, but over time I get better at figuring out my biological problems and which things effect me in what ways, so I'm gradually getting better with that.. just in the meantime, if something goes wrong (namely with my diet), it can screw me up for weeks.

Now that I've been working to reduce stressors and increase my personal health, I'm also working on trying to work things out of my psychological system, and also try and better sort through which problems are more biological and which ones are more psychological. A lot of that's become really fuzzy over the past few years, and it's continuing progress, but I am working on it.. a recent, unfortunate personal situation (on the lines of being not-too-bright-but-heart-more-or-less-in-the-right-place) has effected this progress, but is helping to give me some much needed perspective now that it's ended. I think I'm working on some of the final chapters of the second book in my life and I'm not sure how long the epilogue will be. I believe there will be a third, though.. and I'm curious as to what it will bring.

I'm working on finding a new place to live (in the same general area, at least) to help move my life forward and improve a number of situations. I'll be working on getting new employment and making substantially more money than I am. Since I have very special dietary needs, it's difficult to reliably reduce my food budget, and I'm barely making enough to survive in this area as it is. (I'm hoping that I'll get a substantial tax return to save my poor bank account.) I've been reducing my schooling and may withdraw from the final credited class I've been taking. I've just been too exhausted, especially after last semester, and I'm realizing just how important it is for me to give myself the time to get a decent amount of sleep -- which for me takes more than it does for the average person, mostly because of troubles with insomnia, but also nutritional problems. It's also very important that I set aside a decent amount of time for myself to relax.. and at some point I really want to be rested, relaxed and decompressed enough to set aside time to start reading some of the large pile of books I have to go through, and start some of my own creative projects again.

Anyways.. I want to talk to people more, see people more, post to LiveJournal more. Get thoughts cycled out of my head more. Do more output. Might start posting to an alternate journal or two for the sake of some brain dumps. Something.. just making the attempt to shake loose things from my head, not be so self-contained, self-restraining, self-imposing.. stop putting too much pressure on myself, etc. I didn't used to take everything so seriously and act so cruelly to myself, and I think I've become a worse person for it. Need to help fix things.. shake myself, loosen up, remember who I am.
Tags: health, job hunt, life, pain, school
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  • 11 comments

  • (no subject)

    Our precious kitty Clarissa is having some serious health problems, but we don't have enough money right now to get the blood tests she needs.…

  • On fantasy characters:

    If you had to distill fantasy character archetypes into just a few key terms (warrior/soldier, mystic/shaman, wizard/scholar, what have you), what…

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    Crawled out of bed an hour ago. Just finished eating breakfast and watching an episode of R.O.D -THE TV-. So much sneezing. No progress so far.