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The most painful of burdens. Especially when such strong emotions are involved. And oh, Father of Aya, how emotion has been involved...

I've never felt for anyone the way I felt for her...still feel, even. Though the emotions and mental stances are so mixed, any more. I love her...love her more strongly than I thought was possible for me to love...but she's gone. Ran away, burried herself so deeply...And she's dead, now. I can only pray that one day, she will be reborn.

But oh, how this mile is so long...How this trial is unending...How this pain does ache me. I've never hurt so much...never that I can recall, throughout all my being. Never so close has my heart felt to another...And yet, she is not there. She has burried herself so deeply, under one vissage, and another. Because she's so afraid...more afraid, even, than I. That she's lost herself, within those barriers...and I cry for her, I cry for her heart, I cry to the earth above, and the heavens below, that one day, she will be regained...

She's someone else, now...Run so far, she can't even find herself. She doesn't even want to. Doesn't want to learn, just dwells so harshly on the pain, in her own way, that she runs from everything...and she's gone. Some thing else, in her place. She replaced me, as well. Or rather, she changed me. Even if she didn't mean it.

I've become so different, through all this. Perhaps I picked up her rage. Perhaps I'd always had some I wasn't aware of; not to that extent, anyway. But regardless...We've both become such monsters to each other. And she's lied...oh, how she's lied. That's what gets me...The things she tells people. About how horribly I abused her. I could never do such things...never. I've said painful things. But I could never inflict such abuse...Could never be the monster she'd like to think of me as. And I think, perhaps, that's her way...She must make me a monster, for otherwise...oh no...it is far too painful. And in that light, I cannot blame her...She is doing what she must, to survive...

But it is to her, whom I once knew...The perfect, simple, beautiful, complex, divine and immistakably pure, unspeakably wondrous soul...That I hereby, and eternally dedicate myself, my essence, my love...And this song...Our song...Perhaps not the only...But the one which has brought me to tears, each time I've heard it, since I first Saw her...Since I first knew, that this song was about Her, somehow...That the Core of my being has Sung this Song to Her, ever since...And ever shall...

I am yours, my heart...Please...Please, one day, have me again...
I need to see you...
Need to be...
But cannot, without you...

Till then...

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lilga
aekiy
Gorotsuki Tenshi
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