Gorotsuki Tenshi (aekiy) wrote,
Gorotsuki Tenshi
aekiy

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then again..

I must retract part of my former statement.. I will not be attending Kin North after all. It would be too much of a drain on my resource.. and I was merely thinking of something as a promise to keep, but realizing it was only a suggestion and not an actual promise.. it will not be happening. Also realizing who the "promise" was to.. I cannot afford to further place resources in attempting to "make things right" with an obsessive.

I've realized that, unfortunately, sometimes you do indeed need to "give up the fight," and let things happen as they must.. Some people are in fact the problems they appear to be, and will not be fixed no matter what efforts one may put into them. It is best, in this case, that I leave it be.. in all my hopes that my light might be able to be of some help, I found that it is merely yet another source for the obsessives' consumption.. and I cannot allow that to continue. After all, more is needed for my own endeavors.

So.. I wish them the best, and hope for them a progressive and influential journey.

Now knowing what Rialian means by "re writing history".. it is interesting to be accused (albeit not to my face) of certain things, such as disallowing someone a polygamous lifestyle. Quite interesting, since I was actually quite comfortable with the idea of them being polygamous initially. It was the dishonesty which turned me away. The need to be subservient, devious.. I would have had no problem if they were having open relationships with other people, and being honest about them. The problem comes in, in the lies, the deceit, and the constant attempts at manipulation.. many of which worked well, if only for my own efforts to show my caring. Which is unfortunately as I've realized a part of this person's faux pas.. a part of their manipulative behavior, to play off of others' feelings of care for them. Always giving just enough glimpse of something good.. to give one hope that the bad will be out weighed, in the end. Which unfortunately has not been the case..

Ah well.. a lesson learned. I am glad to be progressing on my own, and actually learning these lessons again.. it took quite some time to get myself back on track. But finally, things are working smoothly again.. I am re realizing my actuality. After quite some time of even myself becoming an obsessive, in hopes that my joining them might have a positive outcome..

It has. Just not how I thought.
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