December 30th, 2004


Oof.. so beat

Shower? Shower.. would like a shower. It would require standing up, though.. for an extended period of time. And moving.. ah dunno if ah can handle that, ee.

Is good to have come home though. :nod: Am feeling well enough to be able to recuperate over night, and feel better tomorrow. Which means feeling even more better the day after that, to enjoy the New Years thing. ee

Reading up on cult programming things tonight, was a little.. mm, unsettling. :nod: Ah s'pose is helpful to have read it, though, just to understand more what have gone through in the past.. It's one of those things, when you grow up with something, when you're raised to something, to some extent or another, much of what you've experienced seems somewhat natural to you. Even if it doesn't make sense, and you understand that, there's a point to which you accept it, and don't even realize just how abnormal it is.

Have never really considered the sort of things they talk about.. never actually studied cult dynamics and effects, beyond my own, first-hand experience, mya. And so it was somewhat surprising to me to be faced with the fact that many of the things they list as effects of the 'programming' done by cult influence, were in fact effects of cult programming, and not just normal, everyday, human things..

'Course, it's always been interesting my whole life, to have experienced many things that are normally attributed to things like drunkenness, drug abuse, and other things, without having actually tried any of that stuff.. some things may be attributed to empathy. But some things, now, am realising are perhaps likely results of cult influence on my life.. having been born in one, and raised in it to the age of 14, by parents who had been in there for about 8 years or so prior to that..

Aa well.. am tired today. Rest up, wash up, get revitalized for the next day.. and maybe get some work done on that wiki. :nod nod: Today was a little bit longer than had been expecting. Pleasantly so, but left less room for other things.. ee

Am also plotting the greater doom that is an upbeat news website. It's one of the project possibilities that has cyclicly come to surface again, in pestering a friend of mine to work on a project with me. The prodding must continue, so that things get done, ee. Anyone interested in working toward / writing for such a thing is welcome to contact me by any normal means. (here, email, AIM, etc.)

Everything changes,

nothing remains
without change.

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