Gorotsuki Tenshi (aekiy) wrote,
Gorotsuki Tenshi
aekiy

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Amiss

Not feeling quite right. Was earlier, for a bit...sort of. The familiarity of my old darkness, my calm friend, taking me away as it used to...But it was still different. It burned, somehow...that's what it felt like. A stinging sensation, almost.

For a breif period, however, it did feel quite familiar. Comfortably so. Though most might think it odd I find comfort in such a thing.. Indeed, most are terrified of things such as that. Still...it is a home to me. I reminds me of my truer self, who I was before all this mess. It is working...I feel I shall return to my own self soon enough. But there are still some things to be digested...

Things are odd, still. Odder even, in some ways. Two dear friends have parted ways...Diligant in keeping a friendship between them, but no longer romantically inclined.. And perhaps that shall change, some day. But then, that could just be that I can't imagine them separated. It's been so long with them together...I can't remember not knowing her, not knowing them as a couple...I mean, it's almost like the person he was before they were together was someone else. Not that she changed him. Just seems that...they are for each other. 'Tis odd to think of them as separate. But still, we move on..

I am to be introduced to a girl named Heather. She is a friend of a very dear friend of mine, Christopher. He--though not necessarily stable himself; certainly not one whom I'd consider of the general populous, or even fully sane--has proven to be a very stabilizing force in my life. Perhaps it is his utter neutrality, his way of being so laid back all the time. Still...He is a good friend, anyhow. He seems to try and wedge his way into this and that; become a part of something he isn't truly a part of. I suppose I can't really blame him; most people do that, in some way or another. But the fact is, he should be as he is, as I see it. It is better he remain separate from the rest of us, in that respect, so that he can have an outside view. And continue to act as a stabilizing force. He may not be bound to me, but he will always be a great friend.

Still, I digress. Heather was to be the point of topic. I do not actually know her. But since the separation of myself and Desire�, he has "threatened" to set us up, as a couple... ::chuckle:: Strange. Him playing the matchmaker. Regardless.. I do intend to meet her. I do not know that anything will come of it, in a romantic sense at least. I have not been myself, been far from stable lately. And though I am returning to better ground, I am not yet there. I will make sure she is fully aware of this. If she still wishes to make something of it...Well, we'll cross that path whence it intersects our current, mm? As I see it, I could certainly still appreciate a good friend. I've never been good at making friends. Never been the out-going type. It has been a long time since I've really made a new friend. I feel good about the prospect of meeting this person, however it should turn out.

I shall try and keep myself from simply leaping into a new relationship...Though at times, I wonder if that would be for the better. As the last I was separated from someone, I waited a full year and about a half before a new relationship began. Though then, that was due to going through two rather brief relationships prior. Rebounds are ugly...still. I am moving steadily onward...If something does come of this, I shall certainly do my best to make it worthwhile.

'Till the morrow...I should have already been in bed by now.
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