They don't just effect me as they do other people..
No, they seem to hurt me more directly..
I don't even have to be a part of that lie..
I can see it..
It causes this stirring inside me..
I just get the most horrid feeling..
And my stomach begins to churn..
My skin, my essence, all becomes agitated..
And I may not even know it, concretely, then..
I'll find out later the truth..
And be startled, saddened, shamed to have been right..
This world is so cold..
So fed off of lies..
I've seen it more and more, each day..
And with every passing hour, I feel more sickened..
As I gradually realize this whole world is built on lies..
That so many people seemingly don't know what truth is any more..
Such a notion just passes them by..
And all that matters is the moment..
All that matters to them is appearances..
It looks that way, it seems this way..
And it's all fake..
All of it..
And they don't even know it, until it's too late..
Maybe I'm in the wrong place..?
For all in this world..
They accept these lies..
Take them as if they were true..
And often don't care if they're not...
How can that be..?
I don't understand..
Truth has always been most important to me..
Lies hurt so much..
And not just in the end..
But to me, they hurt when they're said..
Hurt when I hear them..
Because I know..
I know what's being told to me..
And I know that it's shit..
I can feel it..
I can hear it..
I can taste it..
How can someone tell a lie...
And be so angered when accused of lying..?
I KNOW the truth..
I've SEEN it..
And often enough, I FEEL it..
Why do you lie to me..?
Why to each other..?
Why are appearances so important to you..?
Why can't we live harmoniously in truth..?
Why cannot the face match the thoughts behind it..?
You people all see the face..
So pretty are its eyes..
Such soft skin, and perfect hair..
But I don't see that..
Oh sometimes, I do, I CAN..
But I DON'T..
I see somehow passed all that..
To the face behind the mask..
And I don't want to..
I so often these days, find myself not wanting to..
Because you all see the mask..
And I want to be there too..
Be with you..
be fake, together..
But it isn't like that..
It's just that, I know it's too much to ask..
For all of you to join me..
And tear off the mask..
Never to be seen again..
And live in beautiful truth..
However ugly it may seem to some...
..Where am I...?